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20 October 2005 @ 08:40 pm
because my heart is in Ohio ♥ ♥ ♥

fanficjunkie // fanficjunkie // fanficjunkie

New layout over here :D I'm so proud of this one.
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
09 October 2005 @ 06:06 pm
I've been having serious mood swings lately. I don't know exactly why but I think it might be because of all the stress lately and the frustration & anger I've felt a few times lately ^^" I also lost about 3 pounds when doing absolutely nothing for it, I think it might also be the stress cause I really can't explain it any other way. My brother and mother are worried because of it -_- (they've just been here, eating dinner with me <3) even though I told them I've been eating as usually (which doesn't mean that I've eaten a lot but yeah.. I never lost weight because of my eating habits before so I don't know why it happened now...)

Elsewhere there's not much to tell, or maybe too much because I really don't know where to start. My life's been a rollercoaster lately, going up and down way too quickly. Every happy event was followed by a bad one and vica versa. School's been wearing me out, as well as my friends, and pretty much anything actually. I feel really tired all the time (I fell asleep on the sofa the day before yesterday while watching tv for no reason at all) and I'm only ever active when meeting up with someone to go out.

I've been out and about quite a lot since I've met Georg (guy I've met at airrock when celebrating Beccy's birthday) but I'm not at all sure if I'm happy with the way things are going. I'm starting to feel like an ass again because I just can't seem to settle down and say 'hey I've found a guy I really really really like'. Perhaps I'm just not made for relationships-- I'm really starting to believe it. I don't even want one at the moment (with school and everything going on I'd barely have time for a relationship anyway) but it seems that I'm the only one thinking this way. I just wanna go out and have fun (yeah, I know that sounds kinda bad but it's how I feel) without having to worry about being an ass or being egoistical or whatever (hence entry #o31).

So, uhm, enough of that. What has happened the last few days? Beccy slept over on friday, we watched some movies, listened to music and talked a bit. It was nice <3 On saturday I went out with Sina because I'd promised her. It was great, we first went to Soho Vienna and sung karaoke there (I'm a bitch by Meredith Brooks, hehe) and also got two free drinks from some men 30+ -.- (reason for my weird entry before). Afterwards we went to play pool for an hour - I think I won but I'm not sure, it was either 3:1 for me or 2:2. That was pretty much my weekend and today my mum and bro visited me because my brother cooked chili for me <3 I love my family, they're the ones I can always rely on no matter what happens.

So, yeah, that was pretty much it. Angie just came back today and now we have to do something for school x.x We have that Slovakia Project this week which means I'll hardly have time for anything other than school. I'm sleeping in Bratislava from wednesday to thursday. The only two pros I can think of that this Project brings is that a) I'm getting out of Vienna and b) I have no school for a whole week.

I could really use some holidays already *waits impatiently for fall holidays*
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Placebo - The Bitter End
04 October 2005 @ 08:37 pm
First of all, I'm sick and tired of not being able to get home before 6pm on mondays and tuesdays.

I'm sick and tired of having so much homework that I can only get about 6 hours sleep every night instead of the 7 or 8 I usually so desire.

I'm sick and tired of getting home and feeling fucking sick and tired of everything.

I'm sick and tired of being so useless that I can't even talk to Rosey properly anymore, much less post with her.

I'm sick and tired of always being the bad guy (girl).

I'm fucking sick and tired of being told how I act and who I am.

I'm fucking sick and tired of not being able to find someone that can make days like today bearable.

I'm fucking sick and tired of being judged for various things.

I'm sick of being hurt and I'm damned tired of discussions.

I'm tired of trying to work things out that I have the feeling will never really work out again.

I'm sick and tired of having the 4384th discussion this week already. I'm tired of being angry and of crying. I'm tired of people who think that I enjoy doing this. I don't. I fucking hate it.

I'm fucking sick and tired of being expected to do all those things I can't do and to be expected to manage it all.

I'm tired of apologizing, of empty promises, but most of all, of "okay"s that tell you everything is not okay. I'm tired of feeling like I could sleep for years without regretting it.

I'm sick and tired that every good event in my life has to be followed by something bad or another fight. I'm sick and tired of pretending I've been doing fucking okay the past week. I'm not.

I hate this.
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
26 September 2005 @ 06:57 pm
Shamelessly snatched from slytherinblack. Comment with your name and I'll tell you:

1. Something random about you.
2. The song or movie that reminds me of you.
3. Something that only makes sense to you and me.
4. My first/clearest memory of you.
5. The animal you remind me of.
6. Something that I've always wondered about you.

I just had the most wonderful shower ever after a long long exhausting day.

I feel all good and clean now x)
Current Mood: jubilantsilly&exhausted
22 September 2005 @ 08:09 pm

walk through the door to nowhere
see what you will find

feel the freedomCollapse )
Current Mood: pensivepensive
First of all, new livejournal layout again.

So, concerning my last entry, I wasn't quite in a good mood when I made it, that's the reason why I haven't told you guys anything. I am however feeling better now and have been for a few days, even if I have a cold since saturday morning now and even had a slight fever sunday evening. I'm well, at least emotionally.

So, where to start? I just checked and the previous time I really wrote something was on my first schoolday this year. Well, this year is gonna be very different than the last. Mainly because we have some new subjects, one of them being project management that will take up a lot of my time. We've already formed groups concerning that and we're already being drilled into working for that project - it's gonna take up the whole year too. So, what's this project about? Well, first of all it's gonna be in two languages; half of it in german and half of it in (!) french. We're going to France with school for one week this year and our project management teacher as well as our french teacher wants us to present something about the country. Our group decided upon reporting about the lifestyle of youths in France and we're likely to end up comparing them to ours. Doesn't sound very exciting, I know. The thing is, we need a so called product by the end of our project that we can present - and no, it's not just a presentation about what we found out/what the differences are and what they are not.

When the teacher asked it of us to come up with something, we couldn't, and she really wasn't very nice about it. Perhaps she had a bad day or something because I really don't know her. She's just weird, though. So anyway, at the end of our PM lessons (we had two today) I came up with something: a homepage. True, doesn't sound very exciting but I think if we make it interactive enough and with things that peek people's interest, we're gonna be fine. The thing is since I'm the only one in my group who knows HTML & Web-Design, I practically got myself more work throughout my own idea -_- How stupid am I? Ah well, it can't be that difficult.

Either way, I just realized this whole entry has been about project management óÒ I don't know what to think of the subject quite yet except that I am: scared and yet interested. I know I'm gonna curse this project to hell more than once but I can't help but feel a little excited about it as well. We haven't done something like this up until now and it might be a nice change to our usual classes.

Done with that, I'm not sure if I told you guys that me and my brother planned on taking part in jiu-jitsu course. Well, we are but the thing is that my brother told me yesterday that's its gonna be two times a week, instead of one. And I also want to take up dance classes this year, preparations for the Cambridge English Certificate and of course, go to drama classes again. I'm not sure if I can make all of those things work, at least not together :/ But we'll see.

The one thing that is really annoying since school started again is the fact that I don't see my friends a lot anymore (well I see Angie every day cause we're going to the same school). I miss being together and meeting up to do stupid things like going shopping or lazing around somewhere, or eating running sushi. It gets annoying and even a little depressing after some time if you do the same things every single day: sleep, go to school, do your homework, eat. then repeat. *sigh*

I feel like there is still something important that I wanted to say, something more than this, but it seems like I've forgotten it.
Tags: ,
Current Mood: weirdweird
Current Music: Silverstein - My Heroine
14 September 2005 @ 09:47 pm

and the feeling of loneliness, it just won't fade,
this whole new world has got me feeling so small, so small

no hero in her skyCollapse )
Current Mood: numbquiet
Current Music: Damien Rice - The Blowers Daughter
12 September 2005 @ 09:51 pm
Post your 10 favourite Bands & TV-Shows or Films and let your LJ friends guess what's your favorite song (character) from each of them.

01 atreyu - you give love a bad name haste_my_day
02 cake - take it all away
03 emery - left with alibis and lying eye haste_my_day
04 the academy is - black mamba haste_my_day
05 four star mary - thrown to the wolves streberlein
06 garbage - number one crush phoenix7771
07 HIM - lose you tonight streberlein
08 U2 - one haste_my_day
09 muse - sing for absolution streberlein
10 maroon 5 - through with you streberlein


01 lost - sawyer
02 simpsons - homer streberlein
03 the lion king - scar haste_my_day
04 harry potter - severus snape streberlein
05 star wars - anakin haste_my_day
06 interview with the vampire - armand
07 south park - kenny streberlein
08 buffy - angelus
09 king of queens - carey haste_my_day
10 sin city - dwight haste_my_day
Current Mood: draineddrained
10 September 2005 @ 12:45 am

+3Collapse )

Yes, I confess this is a totally self-loving post.

For once.
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: Maximilian Hecker - Daylight
Because I was bored and Rosey told me to post them. I'm being silly, just so you know. I have more but I should really get some sleep x)

+2Collapse )
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Rise Against - Swing Life Away